Thankfulness

As I started off the week, I thought about the upcoming holiday, Thanksgiving.  My students and I discussed what we were thankful for.  Many of them said that they were thankful for their families, food, clothes, and of course shelter.  A few added their video games and other material things, they are kids.  As we went around the room sharing, I knew that I would eventually have to share.  This year is different.  Circumstances are difficult, family means so much more, and my perspective on my children is so much different.  God has given me both children of my own and children that seem like my own.  I am responsible and accountable for all of these little lives.  For my precious babies Ellie, Noah, and Grayson, I am to be an example as a Christian mother leading them and teaching them values and lessons about life.  For my students, I am entrusted to teach them the values and lessons that will help them become successful adults.

It was finally my turn to discuss what I was thankful for.  "Mrs. Walker", they all said, "it's your turn." What are you thankful for? Well, I am very thankful for God giving me such precious children and a husband who loves me so much.  I am so thankful for life.  I shared how I was thankful that I was getting to spend any time with Grayson.  I didn't start crying though I was very emotional.  I also shared that I was thankful for each of my students and that I loved each one of them very much.  

Even though I am carrying a child that I might not get to nurture and teach for years to come, I have been give time.  I also have Ellie, Noah, and my 11 students to nurture and love.  I pray I have years and years to pour into them:)

Thanksgiving day, Patrick, Ellie, Noah, my parents, in-laws, sister, niece, and nephew and two other family friends enjoyed a feast at our house.  We had a great time eating and talking.  The kids ran around and played, while we sat around the table and did the adult thing.  It was very important for me to have a video of this Thanksgiving for several reasons.  Mainly, I wanted to remember this time with Grayson and have something tangible to hold onto for years to come.  I wanted to freeze the moment so I could just hold him.

We shared what we were thankful for, and again everyone talked about family.  We definitely were thankful for the Lord blessing us and taking care of us!  As I shared with my family, the feeling hit me.  I would not be holding Grayson next year.  I am holding him now, but this will be his first and last Thanksgiving.  All of us were teary-eyed and emotional.

My mom, sister, and I decided we would go black Friday shopping, something I haven't done since I was 14.  Now, I remember why its been so long:)   Again, I wanted Grayson to be able to take part in the madness of what is known as black Friday.  We left around 7:00 and arrived back home around 5:00 in the morning.  I think Grayson was confused as to what was going on because I normally try to go to bed around 9:00.  We had a great time and created memories that I will never forget.

To my sweet boy,

Grayson, I love you.  I am enjoying the holidays and all of the excitement that comes with it, but each day that passes means that its one day closer to what I fear.  I look forward to welcoming you into this world.  I can't wait to meet you, but I don't want to let you go.  I don't want these days to pass to quickly because time is something I won't ever get back.  I want everything to stand still but I know that's not possible.  You are loved and believe that you know that.  You are a precious, special, perfect little gift from above.  Only God Himself, could have created such a perfect little boy for us.