Forget me Not

Today marks three months and one days since we said hello and goodbye to Grayson.. You'd think it'd get easier with time, but I would disagree, or right now anyways.  I miss him more than ever.  I see all the pictures of other friends babies and wonder what he would look like.  There is a place in my heart that is missing.  I don't want Grayson to be forgotten. I want his life to always be remembered.  He was a servant, God's little servant.  He was in my arms briefly and I just wish I could go back to that day.  I wish I could remember ever detail. As I was watching Private Practice last night, I was taken back to that day for a moment.  Amelia, one of the doctors, had a baby with anencephaly.  As she voiced what she was feeling that day, I too can relate.  I remember lying in the hospital bed wondering if he was going to be alive or how long he was going to live.  I wondered what he was going to look like.  So many thoughts rushed through my brain that Wednesday morning.  Of course he was perfect and fought for 8 hours.  He was so beautiful and sweet.  His whimpers are engrained in my mind and heart. It was the sweetest noise.  As I watched the show, I saw every little thing about the baby that reminded me of Grayson.