Wednesday, May 16, 2012
Forget me Not
Today marks three months and one days since we said hello and goodbye to Grayson.. You'd think it'd get easier with time, but I would disagree, or right now anyways. I miss him more than ever. I see all the pictures of other friends babies and wonder what he would look like. There is a place in my heart that is missing. I don't want Grayson to be forgotten. I want his life to always be remembered. He was a servant, God's little servant. He was in my arms briefly and I just wish I could go back to that day. I wish I could remember ever detail. As I was watching Private Practice last night, I was taken back to that day for a moment. Amelia, one of the doctors, had a baby with anencephaly. As she voiced what she was feeling that day, I too can relate. I remember lying in the hospital bed wondering if he was going to be alive or how long he was going to live. I wondered what he was going to look like. So many thoughts rushed through my brain that Wednesday morning. Of course he was perfect and fought for 8 hours. He was so beautiful and sweet. His whimpers are engrained in my mind and heart. It was the sweetest noise. As I watched the show, I saw every little thing about the baby that reminded me of Grayson.