A week ago I went to the hospital because of contractions and lower back cramping and pain. We arrived at the hospital and my nerves started to get the best of me. I was lying in the hospital bed hoping I wasn't in actual labor because I knew Grayson needed more time to grow and develop. I also wasn't ready to have him. I got scared and anxious so quickly as I looked at the little plastic baby bed that I've seen 2 times before. I couldn't help but think that Grayson might not get to lay in that little bed very long. I know that Patrick and I will hold him every second, but I'd love to lay next to him like I did with Ellie and Noah. I remember watching them move around in that little plastic bed. They would make those little gurgle noises and Patrick and I would just stare in amazement. God only knows what lies ahead for us. Maybe we will have the opportunity to watch him move around and make those little gurgle noises.
After hours of monitoring the contractions and making sure there were no other complications, the nurse gave me a shot to stop the contractions. I was relieved that I would be able to go home and enjoy more time with my little boy. Patrick and I were both relieved because we knew and I know that God knew it wasn't time.
I rested for the next few days and continued to experience the back pain and mild contractions. Heating pads and warm baths are wonderful, but sometimes they don't help. I started feeling somewhat better and returned to work. As I went to school each day, I continued having the lower back cramps and contractions. I attempted to finish out the whole week but didn't return today. I went to my doctor's appointment and we discussed alot of stuff. The doctor put me on bedrest until the delivery. We talked about when and what would be best. My specialist advised that 37 weeks would be a good time. Because of Grayson's condition, it wouldn't matter whether I have him at 37 or 40 weeks.
Our plan is to have him around Feb. 22, 2012. My doctor is on call that day and that puts around 38 weeks. Patrick and I are nervous about the whole thing. We're scared because we've never had to face death with someone so close, our son. It's not going to be easy, but it will be the closest we get to Heaven until Jesus calls us home. I know that Patrick is going to hold me and be so strong during all of this. He has reassured me that everything is going to be okay. He had reminded me that God is going to take care of us. Please pray for us in the days ahead and as we plan and get ready for this day.