Today was a pretty good day. We had Lexi's Minnie Mouse birthday party and it was really sweet. Ellie and Noah had a good time. They both love Mickey Mouse. Anyways, we had fun and ate cupcakes. I can't help but feel guilty right now. My sweet little children Ellie and Noah seem to be having a hard time with everything. I feel like I can't be there like I need to right now. My emotions are everywhere and the hardest part hasn't even happened yet. Ellie tells me not to cry and that everything is going to be okay. I know she doesn't quite understand what is going to happen and it breaks my heart. She kisses Grayson, my belly, all the time and tells him how much she loves him. Noah is still little and I'm sure he can sense some type of confusion and chaos. He just isn't old enough to understand that he won't get to grow up with his little brother. Ellie would be such a good big sister to Grayson because she is almost 4 and absolutely loves babies!! She's been changing Noah's diapers since she was 2 and a half.:) We talk about Heaven alot and have explained to her and Noah that Grayson is special and that God will take him to Heaven. She asks if we can fly a plane to get there, lol. The whole death thing is hard enough for us to comprehend, much less a 4 year old. She is very concerned about Jesus and Grayson. She made up a song that she sings about sweet Grayson going to Heaven. Noah loves on his brother too. My hope is that they are able to have the best memories with their little brother. Of course I'm nervous and anxious right now, but its got to get better. I just don't like not knowing anything. I don't know how long we'll have, or what state he'll be in. I just want time. I just want to remember everything about him. I don't want to forget his smell or any wrinkle on his body. I want to treasure it. My prayer is that God continues sustaining us and our sweet children for the days and weeks ahead. I pray that He gives Ellie and Noah everything that they need when we can't. I'm so worried about not being the mom I need to be for them when this all happens. God will protect them and give them so much grace and love. I tell them every night that the angels watch over them and that Jesus is always with them.
Dear Grayson,
Time is going by so quickly now. I remember when we found out 5 months ago. It seemed like such a long time, but its gone by too fast. I've tried to think of ways to make memories that we can hold onto with you. Of course, I feel as though I haven't done enough. I could have read to you more...I will read as much as I possibly can in the next 11 days. We sing to you and you kick. You are so active!! The other day, I thought my rib was going to come out of place. As each day passes, I get excited and nervous. I can't wait to meet you, but I don't want to let you go. I know God Himself will be singing and the angels will rejoice, but I'd like to have you here for a long time. Jesus knows the outcome already. I wish he'd fill me in a little bit. By the way, I was asking you how much you weigh the other day. I'm guessing you're going to be about 6 lbs. 8 oz. I hope I'm close. Baby boy, you're loved more than you know and I'm sorry I can't do anything to change the outcome. I want to be in control, but everything is in God's hands. He created you special and wonderfully. You are in His hands now, as He continues forming you and adding those last little touches. He has numbered your days and knows the hairs on that beautiful little head of yours. I love you so much son. Sweet dreams.
Our Miracle is Here
Welcome Little Angel Grayson James Walker
Saturday, February 4, 2012
Monday, January 23, 2012
My New Friend
I recently met another mommy whose baby girl had anencephaly. She came over to my house a few weeks ago and we talked for hours. The most interesting thing about how we met is that two different people connected me with her. One of the people I teach with, and the other I randomly talked to a fabric store. One of the teachers I teach with told me about a young lady whom she believed had a baby two years ago with anencephaly. I was shocked to find out that there may be someone I could talk to. She gave me the girl's letter and phone number about a month before Christmas, but I didn't call. I wasn't sure what to say and was just busy with the holidays. I continued to think about talking to her and finding out how she went through her journey.
Christmas time came and my sister in law and I were at Hancock's. We were looking for fabric for Ellie, Noah, and Grayson's appliques. I wanted to find the perfect fabric for the outfits that they would wear to welcome Grayson. We were talking about how to do appliques and a lady started explaining to us how easy it was. She talked about her business and her grandchildren. She reassured us that it wouldn't be too hard. I walked off for a few minutes to continue looking at different fabrics. When I returned, the lady had tears in her eyes. I figured that Candy must have told her about Grayson. No quicker than I could say something about him, she said that she couldn't believe it. She knew someone whose baby had anencephaly. Wow, I could talk to two women about their journeys through anencephaly. As we talked, she told us that she knew it must be God that we met. She actually started a line of dresses to remember the baby. I was so excited. She said that I should really meet this young lady, and we exchanged numbers.
I couldn't wait to talk to both of these women. Two days later, Mary called me and emailed me. After reading her email, I got the chills. She informed me that in two months time, two different women had passed along her information to women who were having babies with anencephaly. Little did she know that I was the same person whom both of these women gave the information to. We talked for a while after I called her and planned to meet the following Saturday. I felt so relieved to know that I could have someone to talk to and bond with that had been through the very same thing. The reason this was so special was because 98% of women who find out they're having a baby with anencephaly terminate their pregnancy. This means that there aren't alot of people to talk to, especially in the same city.
I am sure that Mary and I will have a friendship that lasts for years to come. She has already offered so much support about everything. We looked at pictures of her little girl and talked about both of our angels. God has blessed her so much and helped her. I know He is going to do the same for me because He has promised me this because I am his child.
Christmas time came and my sister in law and I were at Hancock's. We were looking for fabric for Ellie, Noah, and Grayson's appliques. I wanted to find the perfect fabric for the outfits that they would wear to welcome Grayson. We were talking about how to do appliques and a lady started explaining to us how easy it was. She talked about her business and her grandchildren. She reassured us that it wouldn't be too hard. I walked off for a few minutes to continue looking at different fabrics. When I returned, the lady had tears in her eyes. I figured that Candy must have told her about Grayson. No quicker than I could say something about him, she said that she couldn't believe it. She knew someone whose baby had anencephaly. Wow, I could talk to two women about their journeys through anencephaly. As we talked, she told us that she knew it must be God that we met. She actually started a line of dresses to remember the baby. I was so excited. She said that I should really meet this young lady, and we exchanged numbers.
I couldn't wait to talk to both of these women. Two days later, Mary called me and emailed me. After reading her email, I got the chills. She informed me that in two months time, two different women had passed along her information to women who were having babies with anencephaly. Little did she know that I was the same person whom both of these women gave the information to. We talked for a while after I called her and planned to meet the following Saturday. I felt so relieved to know that I could have someone to talk to and bond with that had been through the very same thing. The reason this was so special was because 98% of women who find out they're having a baby with anencephaly terminate their pregnancy. This means that there aren't alot of people to talk to, especially in the same city.
I am sure that Mary and I will have a friendship that lasts for years to come. She has already offered so much support about everything. We looked at pictures of her little girl and talked about both of our angels. God has blessed her so much and helped her. I know He is going to do the same for me because He has promised me this because I am his child.
Saturday, January 21, 2012
Bedrest
A week ago I went to the hospital because of contractions and lower back cramping and pain. We arrived at the hospital and my nerves started to get the best of me. I was lying in the hospital bed hoping I wasn't in actual labor because I knew Grayson needed more time to grow and develop. I also wasn't ready to have him. I got scared and anxious so quickly as I looked at the little plastic baby bed that I've seen 2 times before. I couldn't help but think that Grayson might not get to lay in that little bed very long. I know that Patrick and I will hold him every second, but I'd love to lay next to him like I did with Ellie and Noah. I remember watching them move around in that little plastic bed. They would make those little gurgle noises and Patrick and I would just stare in amazement. God only knows what lies ahead for us. Maybe we will have the opportunity to watch him move around and make those little gurgle noises.
After hours of monitoring the contractions and making sure there were no other complications, the nurse gave me a shot to stop the contractions. I was relieved that I would be able to go home and enjoy more time with my little boy. Patrick and I were both relieved because we knew and I know that God knew it wasn't time.
I rested for the next few days and continued to experience the back pain and mild contractions. Heating pads and warm baths are wonderful, but sometimes they don't help. I started feeling somewhat better and returned to work. As I went to school each day, I continued having the lower back cramps and contractions. I attempted to finish out the whole week but didn't return today. I went to my doctor's appointment and we discussed alot of stuff. The doctor put me on bedrest until the delivery. We talked about when and what would be best. My specialist advised that 37 weeks would be a good time. Because of Grayson's condition, it wouldn't matter whether I have him at 37 or 40 weeks.
Our plan is to have him around Feb. 22, 2012. My doctor is on call that day and that puts around 38 weeks. Patrick and I are nervous about the whole thing. We're scared because we've never had to face death with someone so close, our son. It's not going to be easy, but it will be the closest we get to Heaven until Jesus calls us home. I know that Patrick is going to hold me and be so strong during all of this. He has reassured me that everything is going to be okay. He had reminded me that God is going to take care of us. Please pray for us in the days ahead and as we plan and get ready for this day.
After hours of monitoring the contractions and making sure there were no other complications, the nurse gave me a shot to stop the contractions. I was relieved that I would be able to go home and enjoy more time with my little boy. Patrick and I were both relieved because we knew and I know that God knew it wasn't time.
I rested for the next few days and continued to experience the back pain and mild contractions. Heating pads and warm baths are wonderful, but sometimes they don't help. I started feeling somewhat better and returned to work. As I went to school each day, I continued having the lower back cramps and contractions. I attempted to finish out the whole week but didn't return today. I went to my doctor's appointment and we discussed alot of stuff. The doctor put me on bedrest until the delivery. We talked about when and what would be best. My specialist advised that 37 weeks would be a good time. Because of Grayson's condition, it wouldn't matter whether I have him at 37 or 40 weeks.
Our plan is to have him around Feb. 22, 2012. My doctor is on call that day and that puts around 38 weeks. Patrick and I are nervous about the whole thing. We're scared because we've never had to face death with someone so close, our son. It's not going to be easy, but it will be the closest we get to Heaven until Jesus calls us home. I know that Patrick is going to hold me and be so strong during all of this. He has reassured me that everything is going to be okay. He had reminded me that God is going to take care of us. Please pray for us in the days ahead and as we plan and get ready for this day.
Thursday, January 12, 2012
Christmas Memories
The weeks have gone by too fast. They've gone by so fast that I didn't realize that I hadn't written anything for the New Year or Christmas.
Christmas Eve, we spent time with Patrick's family and it was wonderful. I had a bittersweet feeling inside of me because I knew that this would be Grayson's first and last Christmas. I wanted so badly to make everything extra special for Him. I thought he should be the focus and that we should make sure we did the same for him as if he were crawling around on the carpet. At midnight, my mom, my brother Tye and I went to Walgreens to pick out a few things for his stocking. As I tried to decide what would be really special, I got somewhat frustrated. We found a box of 3 pairs of little booties, a miniature moose pillow pet, and of course a stocking with a little snowman in it. I was somewhat excited but disappointed at the same time.
The next day morning we woke up and Ellie and Noah were super excited to see what Santa brought. We all ran downstairs with cell phones in our hands trying to capture the joy of Christmas. Patrick's parents came over and we had a great time opening presents and watching them ride their bike and little four wheeler. Even though it was so wonderful to see them so thrilled about their toys, I couldn't help but think that Grayson wouldn't be apart of it next year. I looked frequently at the little stocking on the tree that had a little gold G on it. This time next year, he would be crawling around and pulling up on the couch, but without a miracle I wouldn't get to see this. After opening presents, we got ready for church.
As I thought about Mary and the birth of Jesus, I felt like I could feel what she must have felt. She knew that God had a special plan for her son's life but knew that she was carrying someone who would be the Savior to all mankind. I'm not comparing myself to Mary and Grayson to Jesus by any means, because we couldn't come close, obviously. But like Mary, I would have to give up my son for a greater purpose
On Christmas morning, I sang the song Breath of Heaven by Amy Grant at church. I'm not quite sure how I got through it without breaking down, well Jesus was definitely holding me up. The words to this song and the meaning of Christmas were extra special and just amazing to me this year. They meant so much more than because I was going through something so similar.
The day after Christmas, we spent time with my mom, dad, brother Jason, my sister-in-law Candace, my sister Shannon, my other brother Tye and all of my wonderful nieces and nephews. I only get to see them once a year, so its always exciting to hang out with them and see how much the kids have grown. We hugged and laughed and did our annual Walmart/Starbucks run. We usually have to buy a pregnancy test for me, but not this year!! It was special and sweet, I just wanted to freeze the moment once again. I wanted to just hold onto anything that would keep the memory of this Christmas from slipping too far away. God knew what was going on in my mind, and He helped me get through it.
Christmas Eve, we spent time with Patrick's family and it was wonderful. I had a bittersweet feeling inside of me because I knew that this would be Grayson's first and last Christmas. I wanted so badly to make everything extra special for Him. I thought he should be the focus and that we should make sure we did the same for him as if he were crawling around on the carpet. At midnight, my mom, my brother Tye and I went to Walgreens to pick out a few things for his stocking. As I tried to decide what would be really special, I got somewhat frustrated. We found a box of 3 pairs of little booties, a miniature moose pillow pet, and of course a stocking with a little snowman in it. I was somewhat excited but disappointed at the same time.
The next day morning we woke up and Ellie and Noah were super excited to see what Santa brought. We all ran downstairs with cell phones in our hands trying to capture the joy of Christmas. Patrick's parents came over and we had a great time opening presents and watching them ride their bike and little four wheeler. Even though it was so wonderful to see them so thrilled about their toys, I couldn't help but think that Grayson wouldn't be apart of it next year. I looked frequently at the little stocking on the tree that had a little gold G on it. This time next year, he would be crawling around and pulling up on the couch, but without a miracle I wouldn't get to see this. After opening presents, we got ready for church.
As I thought about Mary and the birth of Jesus, I felt like I could feel what she must have felt. She knew that God had a special plan for her son's life but knew that she was carrying someone who would be the Savior to all mankind. I'm not comparing myself to Mary and Grayson to Jesus by any means, because we couldn't come close, obviously. But like Mary, I would have to give up my son for a greater purpose
On Christmas morning, I sang the song Breath of Heaven by Amy Grant at church. I'm not quite sure how I got through it without breaking down, well Jesus was definitely holding me up. The words to this song and the meaning of Christmas were extra special and just amazing to me this year. They meant so much more than because I was going through something so similar.
The day after Christmas, we spent time with my mom, dad, brother Jason, my sister-in-law Candace, my sister Shannon, my other brother Tye and all of my wonderful nieces and nephews. I only get to see them once a year, so its always exciting to hang out with them and see how much the kids have grown. We hugged and laughed and did our annual Walmart/Starbucks run. We usually have to buy a pregnancy test for me, but not this year!! It was special and sweet, I just wanted to freeze the moment once again. I wanted to just hold onto anything that would keep the memory of this Christmas from slipping too far away. God knew what was going on in my mind, and He helped me get through it.
Tuesday, December 20, 2011
Time is ticking
I'm not sure what to write today. I feel like I should be writing alot more right now. Grayson is growing more and more each day. He continues to kick and move around so much. When I think about my other two pregnancies, this one doesn't really seem that much different. To be honest, its been a pretty good one for the most part. We bought a little stocking to hang on the tree with a G on it for Grayson. I really wish we would get to hang up a stocking every year. This Christmas will definitely be an emotional one because it will be the only one with my sweet Grayson James.
The doctor said he has hair and I really hope its blonde like mine. I think he has my eyes. Since Ellie and Noah look just like Patrick, I'd really like to have one of our three look like me:) Time isn't moving any slower. Right now, I'm 29 weeks!! It's gone by so fast and I wish I would have written more.
Grayson, mommy loves you so much!!! So many people ask about you and pray for you:) You are so special and perfect. Every kick reminds me that you are so alive and here. This is what I hold onto to keep me from getting depressed. Grayson, you have a purpose in this life that I might not ever know til I get to heaven, but I know its something wonderful. You are an angel. Ellie wants to bring you home and she also said that she would like to go to Heaven. I told her she could one day but not right now. She said she wants to be with you. I reminded her that you are still with mommy, kicking and moving.
We went to see Logan at the hospital tonight. His back surgery went extremely well. His "zipper" is working just fine:) He is so sweet and such a strong little boy...He's been through two major surgeries and he's only 6. He loves you so much and wants you to stay strong. You are gonna be my fighter. By the way, I talked to a neuro doctor at Leboneur tonight and she said they have many anecephalic babies that live for days, weeks, and even months. This gives me hope. Keep fighting buddy. Be strong and know you are loved Grayson.
I love you sweet angel, mommy is touching you right now. Good night, sleep tight, don't let the bed bugs bite. If they do, him em with a shoe, til they turn black and blue.
Love,
Mommy
The doctor said he has hair and I really hope its blonde like mine. I think he has my eyes. Since Ellie and Noah look just like Patrick, I'd really like to have one of our three look like me:) Time isn't moving any slower. Right now, I'm 29 weeks!! It's gone by so fast and I wish I would have written more.
Grayson, mommy loves you so much!!! So many people ask about you and pray for you:) You are so special and perfect. Every kick reminds me that you are so alive and here. This is what I hold onto to keep me from getting depressed. Grayson, you have a purpose in this life that I might not ever know til I get to heaven, but I know its something wonderful. You are an angel. Ellie wants to bring you home and she also said that she would like to go to Heaven. I told her she could one day but not right now. She said she wants to be with you. I reminded her that you are still with mommy, kicking and moving.
We went to see Logan at the hospital tonight. His back surgery went extremely well. His "zipper" is working just fine:) He is so sweet and such a strong little boy...He's been through two major surgeries and he's only 6. He loves you so much and wants you to stay strong. You are gonna be my fighter. By the way, I talked to a neuro doctor at Leboneur tonight and she said they have many anecephalic babies that live for days, weeks, and even months. This gives me hope. Keep fighting buddy. Be strong and know you are loved Grayson.
I love you sweet angel, mommy is touching you right now. Good night, sleep tight, don't let the bed bugs bite. If they do, him em with a shoe, til they turn black and blue.
Love,
Mommy
Monday, December 12, 2011
Blessings
God takes us through things that seem impossible. When we're going through something that we've never faced, of course we wonder why. We wonder why now, why me, why? Patrick and I are going through something that we never thought we'd have to face. We've seen people go through the loss of a child but never experienced it and never thought we would.
Patrick was supposed to start seminary, I was starting a new job at a new school, and we found out that we were pregnant. So many new changes were happening all at once. Not long after Patrick made the decision to start school, he lost his job. What are we going to do? Patrick was enrolled to start seminary and now didn't have job. We were also expecting a baby. Lord, we are being obedient and doing what we believe you've called us to do. Four days before Patrick was supposed to start seminary, we realized that we couldn't afford his school because my insurance payments were so expensive.
At that point, we were discouraged and wondered if we were making the right decision. Should he have gone to school anyways, not knowing where the money was going to come from? One month later, we received the news that would change our lives forever. Our son, Grayson, would be born with anencephaly, fatal neural tube defect. As everything seemed to be spiraling in a downward motion, we questioned what God was doing. Patrick had just found a new job a little over a month before we found out about Grayson. Why now? Why this season? We were being obedient and wanted God's will for our life. Now, it was no seminary, difficult time at new school, and a baby that won't survive very long after birth....
How could so many beautiful, wonderful changes be turned upside down in an instant? At this point, we felt scared. Lord, were we not obedient through Patrick not going to seminary even though the funds weren't there. Did we do something wrong to deserve a baby that had no chance of survival? We love children and wanted to have this baby for a long time...God why us? Can't you change your mind? Grayson is our precious little boy and we want to raise him to know you and serve you. All of these things continued to weigh on our minds.
As the months have gone by, God has revealed some things. We were chosen for this special season with this special little boy..Grayson James Walker. Even though this journey hasn't been easy, we know that God still has a plan. He continues using people to love on us and bless us everyday. There is so much more I could say, but all I know is that God is working.
These lyrics come from a really special song that I sang at church about Blessings. The irony of this is that I sang not very long before this all happened.
"Blessings" by Laura Story
We pray for blessings
We pray for peace
Comfort for family, protection while we sleep
We pray for healing, for prosperity
We pray for Your mighty hand to ease our suffering
All the while, You hear each spoken need
Yet love us way too much to give us lesser things
'Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise
We pray for wisdom
Your voice to hear
And we cry in anger when we cannot feel You near
We doubt Your goodness, we doubt Your love
As if every promise from Your Word is not enough
All the while, You hear each desperate plea
And long that we'd have faith to believe
'Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near
And what if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise
When friends betray us
When darkness seems to win
We know that pain reminds this heart
That this is not, this is not our home
It's not our home
'Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
And what if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near
What if my greatest disappointments
Or the aching of this life
Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can’t satisfy
And what if trials of this life
The rain, the storms, the hardest nights Are Your mercies in disguise
Patrick was supposed to start seminary, I was starting a new job at a new school, and we found out that we were pregnant. So many new changes were happening all at once. Not long after Patrick made the decision to start school, he lost his job. What are we going to do? Patrick was enrolled to start seminary and now didn't have job. We were also expecting a baby. Lord, we are being obedient and doing what we believe you've called us to do. Four days before Patrick was supposed to start seminary, we realized that we couldn't afford his school because my insurance payments were so expensive.
At that point, we were discouraged and wondered if we were making the right decision. Should he have gone to school anyways, not knowing where the money was going to come from? One month later, we received the news that would change our lives forever. Our son, Grayson, would be born with anencephaly, fatal neural tube defect. As everything seemed to be spiraling in a downward motion, we questioned what God was doing. Patrick had just found a new job a little over a month before we found out about Grayson. Why now? Why this season? We were being obedient and wanted God's will for our life. Now, it was no seminary, difficult time at new school, and a baby that won't survive very long after birth....
How could so many beautiful, wonderful changes be turned upside down in an instant? At this point, we felt scared. Lord, were we not obedient through Patrick not going to seminary even though the funds weren't there. Did we do something wrong to deserve a baby that had no chance of survival? We love children and wanted to have this baby for a long time...God why us? Can't you change your mind? Grayson is our precious little boy and we want to raise him to know you and serve you. All of these things continued to weigh on our minds.
As the months have gone by, God has revealed some things. We were chosen for this special season with this special little boy..Grayson James Walker. Even though this journey hasn't been easy, we know that God still has a plan. He continues using people to love on us and bless us everyday. There is so much more I could say, but all I know is that God is working.
These lyrics come from a really special song that I sang at church about Blessings. The irony of this is that I sang not very long before this all happened.
"Blessings" by Laura Story
We pray for blessings
We pray for peace
Comfort for family, protection while we sleep
We pray for healing, for prosperity
We pray for Your mighty hand to ease our suffering
All the while, You hear each spoken need
Yet love us way too much to give us lesser things
'Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise
We pray for wisdom
Your voice to hear
And we cry in anger when we cannot feel You near
We doubt Your goodness, we doubt Your love
As if every promise from Your Word is not enough
All the while, You hear each desperate plea
And long that we'd have faith to believe
'Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near
And what if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise
When friends betray us
When darkness seems to win
We know that pain reminds this heart
That this is not, this is not our home
It's not our home
'Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
And what if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near
What if my greatest disappointments
Or the aching of this life
Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can’t satisfy
And what if trials of this life
The rain, the storms, the hardest nights Are Your mercies in disguise
Monday, December 5, 2011
Sacrifices
Two days ago Patrick and I decided that we should move out of our house due to the financial burden it is putting on us right now. I've been tired of wondering from week to week if we will be able to stay in the house or pay for our cars because of financial issues. His job wouldn't allow him to come back to work and as a result our finances were suffering. I became bitter and frustrated. I was angry with him but knew some things could be done to relieve the stress. Moving out of the house would help our family during this time as my parents would let us stay there. I didn't want to think about moving out of our house because I love having privacy and just some place to call my home. Since I just put up the Christmas tree, and Patrick put up Ellie and Noah's Mickey Mouse lights, the thought of moving was something I wanted to avoid. We talked to my parents and they said that they would love to have us stay with them. With the things we will be facing soon, this choice started to seem perfect. While I would love to be in my house at Christmas and have some type of stability, maybe this would be best. Mom and I took off from work and started packing. We packed the kid's rooms and accomplished quite a bit. I felt relieved but sad at the same time. In the moments that I was angry and wondered why I was going through this on top of everything else, God spoke. He reminded me that this home is not "my" home. After making the sacrifice to give up our house to restore peace with our family, God spoke again. Heather, "There will be other homes." I might have to give up my comfort and privacy right now but there will come a time when I may have it again.
The next day, Patrick was talking to our landlord and we found out that they wanted to work with us. They said that they really wanted us to stay because they knew we were going through alot. God worked out that situation because I definitely didn't want to move out 3 weeks before Christmas, but was going to do whatever needed to be done. God is good. He has proven Himself so faithful.
The next day, Patrick was talking to our landlord and we found out that they wanted to work with us. They said that they really wanted us to stay because they knew we were going through alot. God worked out that situation because I definitely didn't want to move out 3 weeks before Christmas, but was going to do whatever needed to be done. God is good. He has proven Himself so faithful.
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