2 Week Heavenly birthday

I can't believe it's already been two weeks since we met our little boy.  Time has gone by rather quickly.  I can say that I've experienced all different types of emotions.  Anger, frustration, sadness, joy.  This journey continues as God uses Grayson's life to bring people to Himself.  I sit in my bed and look at the tangible things that I have of him.  They are precious but nothing compared to holding him in my arms.  It's been difficult trying to grasp the fact that he was with me for 9 months, was born and lived for 8 wonderful hours, then he was gone.  I feel guilty at times because it's almost like I never had him if that makes any sense.  I know that I got to carry him in my belly and feel the closeness of him being with me everyday, but in the blink of an eye, he was gone.  I have the peace of knowing that Jesus is holding him right now until I get to Heaven, but it's still difficult.  I don't want to lose the little memories as time goes by.  I pray daily that Jesus gives him kisses for me and that he lets Grayson know how much we love him and miss him.